This presentation at TED is well worth the twenty minutes or so it takes to watch it.
It is refreshing to see an approach to staying healthy that is based on adding something to your diet rather than taking something away from it. Many thanks to my friend Tim Miller for pointing me to this resource.
Here are some other links (one, two) to the American Cancer Society’s discussion of this type of therapy.
I ain’t washing tomorrow. Oh, I’ll take a shower, but I mean I’m not washing clothes. Nope. I’m getting that done today.
Not that I really believe that old legend commonly thought true (audio version by yours truly) by those adults in my world when I was growing up that if you wash on New Year’s day, it’s bad luck and someone in your family will die during that year. Not that I believe that, but at my age, I’m really hoping that none of my relatives feel an urgent need to start the new year out right by cleaning up all their dirty laundry.
It can wait one more day folks. Give it a rest, please!
And maybe you and I both will celebrate next New Year’s Eve.
The visitors have gone. Recycling to do. Stockings no longer hung. Crumpled wrapping paper in plastic bags everywhere. Managed to enjoy ourselves amidst and despite the stresses of the season wrapped as they were in a whirlwind schedule nobody could control. Ate, drank, sang, laughed, talked together. Exchanged gifts as seen on TV. Played with toys. Wasted almost no time on sleep. Wallowed in the pleasures of having visitors whom I love in my home.
Not unexpectedly, acquired three almost-certain-new clients for my tech support help who were no doubt sent by Life to help me learn even more patience.
Thanks All for giving me the gift of your visit to my home.
Looking out my office window, I can’t help drifting off into the memory that Carole and I were married on August 25, 1962, a mere 47 years ago today, at the Decatur (GA) First Christian Church. Dr. Charles Schwab performed the ceremony during which, in a move similar to that of Chief Justice John Roberts who muffed the oath of office to President Obama last January 20th, he asked me “do you Nelson Perry … etc.” But despite that glitch the sun shone brightly on our wedding day.
We left the church in the car that had been “decorated” by our friends but we switched cars a mile or so away from the church before leaving for our honeymoon in Gatlinburg, TN. And there we stayed for a few days at, where else?, the Ogle Cabins.
Our first night together , however, was spent at the Riviera Motel on Peachtree at I-85 in Atlanta. I failed to take note of the room number, I’m now sorry to recall. It’s funny to me that details such as that are interesting this far removed from the event. The remaining details of our first night together were buried with Carole on June 10th and my memory grows dimmer by the moment. Yes, I know, but I ain’t tellin’.
So today I’m going to celebrate the anniversary of my wedding day by painting my ceiling. I’m a Romantic, don’t you think?
Last night I attended a board meeting where in an attempt to discuss some financial issues several of us huddled around one fellow’s laptop to try and see the spreadsheet he had worked on. He had done a nice job on the spreadsheet … I’m sure. And if we could have seen it, I’m also sure we would have all been duly impressed and greatly enlightened. However what that experience impressed on me was that even with a group as small as four, huddling around a computer monitor to try to look at content is at best unsatisfactory and at worst a frustrating waste of time. That’s why I’m excited about a solution I’ve found to that problem.
Take a look at this 69 second video demonstration of what I’m talking about.
As you may suspect from watching the video, my original reason for wanting to show my PC screen on my computer monitor had nothing to do with the problem I encountered at the board meeting last night. Originally I wanted to take advantage of those times when my computer was displaying my screen saver by having my big screen HD TV in my great room serve as a ginormous digital picture frame, cycling through my collection of photographs. But what I realized last night at the board meeting was that it would be a great solution for that issue too. I had previously thought of it primarily as a decorative scheme for my house that I am remodeling but now I can see it as being utilitarian too.
The technology involved is the InternetVue IV-2020 receiver. This device connects to the computer wirelessly but it must be plugged into the TV on which you wish to display the image. There are both video and audio connections that you attach to the TV. If your network router is close enough to the InternetVue wireless receiver, you can connect them directly with an Ethernet cable. I’m sure that is the most desirable way to make the connection since it eliminates the vagaries of the intermittent strength of the wireless signal to the network. So I expect to make that change when the renovation is closer to the end.
Another way I’ve anticipated using this setup is to demonstrate things in an instructional setting. It would also be awesome if I could get GotoMeeting to project onto the TV for a group. Had I discovered this tool last year, I would surely have used it as a digital scoreboard and feedback display for the call center I ran. The cost is minimal and the payoff in what you can display is high. It would have been very helpful and I regret I didn’t think of it then. For a couple of hundred bucks you can use all of that TV screen real estate to show a blown up version of you PC’s display. While I’m sure this isn’t the only way to accomplish this goal, and maybe it’s not even the best way, but it does work.
It seems to me the seventh is jinxed. Oh, I know it’s superstitious to say that, but that’s the way it seems.
Carole learned her breast cancer had come back in her liver in November of last year. On the seventh of June she died, only about six months after hearing that news. When I returned from New Mexico on the 15th of May, I anticipated spending the last year of her life with her. In fact, I had already arranged with her three sisters that I would be a part of the four-week rotation of those who would stay with her one week a month for the remainder of her life. I was going to experience, explore, and, if possible, even enjoy a year of saying goodbye to her. As Life turned out I spent one week of the last month of her life with her instead. There’s a Life lesson there. The time you actually have is shorter than the time you think you have. Those who wait to the last minute to do things often find that the last minute is harshly sudden, and those last minute intentions become the stuff of regrets.
On July 7th, just one month to the day after Mike lost his mother to cancer Cheryl, Mike’s wife, lost her mother Sandy to cancer too. Sandy’s funeral was held on July 10th, one month to the day after Carole’s. Mike and Cheryl suffered a left hook followed by a right cross, both of which landed squarely on their emotional jaw. Once again the end for Sandy came suddenly, though it was anticipated. Another Life lesson is that Death, though anticipated for everyone, arrives suddenly.
Today is August 7th. I’ll admit that I’m hesitant to get out of bed or leave the house. It seems to me that the seventh is jinxed.
You may remember that I wondered a couple of days ago whether you were permitted to and if so, how you might go about setting up more than one Twitter account. The answer, as I read the service agreement, is that it is permitted primarily because it is not expressly prohibited. My reason for wanting to know that information was so that if it were legal and possible, I wanted to create an account to post updates on my friend Paul Moor’s condition. I have now done that. It is called FriendsofPaule and it is open for anyone who chooses to do so to follow.
I was able to get around the fact that Twitter wants a “different” email address for each Twitter account you create by using Gmail’s flexibility. Gmail permits you to append a suffix, for instance, “+ TwitterPaule” between your email username and the domain name, i.e. Gmail.com, and still Gmail will treat it as if that suffix wasn’t there. There are many clever uses of that feature, but for yesterday’s obstacle, that did the trick. So I created the feed for informing Paul’s friends of any “little bits” of news I might have about him as illustrated in the following photo.
Two of the three of those so-called “tweets” are exactly 140 characters long which is the maximum allowed. I enjoyed immensely thinking to name myself, the author of that feed, Paul’s amanuensis because that is essentially what role I am performing. At the moment he can’t access, or possibly even absorb, Twitter, but as his amanuensis, I can convert what he tells me into tweets. And thus his friends, if they should be challenged to cite on what authority they may have declared something to do with Paule, may simply say a little birdy told them so.
Most of you who know me know of my friend Paul Moor. He and I met online in a writers group back in the early 90s.
In February on the first, I think it was, he suffered a stroke that left him aphasic and unsteady. His aphasia has improved considerably and even surprisingly already. At 85, he is still dealing with unsteadiness and that may be true from here on out. But the good news is that he has made enough progress that he is being sent home to his apartment on July 20th. His friend Wolfi Petri who has been caring for Maxe, the wonder Dachshund, will bring him over on the 20th for a visit with Paul. Whether Maxe and Paul hook up for good on the 20th remains to be seen. I believe that Meals on Wheels will be making 3 stops a day at Paul’s house, and he has a busy schedule of therapy planned out for him.
I can only say, bravo, Paul. You’ve made a remarkable recovery and your journey to do so has revealed some interesting things such as:
An amazing legion of supporters and well-wishers who sprang up and rallied to Paul’s aid. His friend, Dr. Helmut Mueller, has taken the lead in overseeing the assistance that Paul gets. He arranged for Frau Salien to be appointed administrator of Paul’s estate. Paul said to me that even if he might be considered unpatriotic, he had to admit that he was glad this happened to him in Germany rather than in the U. S. (Let the health care debate begin.) He does seem to be under a good protective umbrella there.
Yesterday when Dr. Charles McClelland was visiting him, he shot this video (as an on camera interview) of Paul sending a greeting out to his friends. This is a moment that a number of us weren’t sure we would ever see. So Paul’s going home to his apartment is an enormous achievement.
Bear in mind, this video is a one-take, extemporaneous dialog from an 85 year old man who is now but four months into his recovery from a stroke. Pretty impressive to me.
Sometime back when I first read Mitch Albom’s “Tuesdays with Morie” and concluded that I planned to travel along this path to the end of the road with Paul, I realized that I should cherish those times we talk on the phone and joke and carry on as if we were in the same room. I can spend however many days with Paul that we are lucky enough to have helping him exercise his memory while I glean from him all the pearls of wisdom he wants to share. Carpe diem.
Paul’s memory is getting a little ragged around the edges, but he is really looking forward to getting his hands on a standard desk set type telephone so that he can place and receive calls.
Soon he’ll be back at home. I’ll take that for now.
Today is the 8th anniversary of the day I first put pen to pixel and created this blog. It’s been hosted at different locations from time to time, but it has been semi-continuously updated since that first Father’s Day in 2001. My one-year hiatus last year will be the subject of a book about what I learned trying to lead the team out there in Las Vegas. I want to reflect on what happened and my complicity in the outcome.
Since I’m mentioning my project for next year, let me point you to the site where I’ll post about it most often so that you can follow me and be a part of the system I am using to hold myself accountable to achieve this objective. The site is called Las Vegas MyOptic. I believe the initial posts there will explain what I have in mind for the project. The site is my way of keeping my head still in Las Vegas.
Here’s an email I just sent to my son, Jeff. I ultimately addressed it to both Jeff and Mike, but once I had written it, I wanted to share it with any of the rest of you who might care to read it.
Jeff,
You said this, “I apologize for my lack of contact as I have been having a problem dealing with Mama’s death. This is something I will work through in my own time I am sure.”
It is precisely because you are (or I had thought you may be) having problems with your mother’s death that I wanted to make contact with you. That’s not the kind of thing you should (or should have to) work through by yourself. It is when you are dealing with such an emotional issue that you need to reach out to those you know love you and who share your sorrow and pain. I qualify on both counts.
Since I’m sitting here at the computer late at night and you’ve just written me, I’m guessing you are also sitting there at your computer late at night. I’d be happy to share a late night conversation with you by phone if you want to call me. But if you choose not to, then let’s talk tomorrow about a time when we can talk about what you are thinking and how you are feeling about your mother’s death.
One reason we share each other’s sorrows is to make our own burdens lighter. It isn’t just that I want to support you; it’s also that I believe if I can hold onto you to give you strength, it will give me strength too. I love you, but now I have to love you twice as much to compensate for your mother’s absence. Your supply of “knowing that you are loved” (didn’t even know you had a supply of that, did you?) is sort of like gas in a car. You need it refilled regularly and often, because if you go for long periods without stopping by a “filling station,” you could run out. When you know you are loved, you can endure more, you can accomplish more and you can relax more and quit doing things to get others to prove to you that they really do love you.
We’ve all been under considerable stress with your mom’s illness. We need to consciously acknowledge how that stress manifests itself in our lives. We must be aware that when we feel the need to have that extra drink in an evening or when the need to commit some sexual indiscretion shows up or when we can only see the faults in everyone around us because we are under stress, we can recognize that for what it is — our plea to be comforted and an expression of our need for stress relief!
Life is full of learning experiences. Carole’s death gives us a chance to learn to deal with loss. You’ll have several such opportunities during your lifetime; it’s just the nature of things that you will. Strive to get better each time you cross that bridge; it’s not a one-time event.
Some day you’ll get to deal with my death. There is no escaping that. Please resolve to learn from Carole’s death the lessons it has for you in how to deal with the loss of a loved one, and resolve to make sure that when you get to practice what you learned this time around the next time you have to go through this experience, you will use what you have learned to lessen the pain you experience and the pain you cause others because of how much you are hurting.
There is certainly no one right way to grieve. But grief is a part of every life. In many ways, it is also a beautiful thing, and though only God could possibly have the wisdom to understand this, a necessary thing. One would never choose to experience it, but there is an honesty in the pain you feel when someone you love is gone that is purer than almost any other emotion you’ll ever experience.
Remember, sometimes when you allow yourself to accept another’s attempt to help you, you are also helping that other person deal with his or her own feelings about the loss that both of you share.
Be honest about the pain you are experiencing and permit those who love you to try to help. You’ll be doing them a world of good. Suffering in silence only perpetuates the pain and causes pain to others because of your own unhappiness.
Damn! Aren’t you glad you were born to such a wise father? 😉
Love,
DadPS Because I need to say these same things to your brother, I’m going to copy him on this message. I’m sure you’ll understand. I love you both with all my heart!
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